RIE Toilet Learning with Rosie

Our RIE Leader and Educator Rosie disseminates the concept of ‘toilet learning’ (not ‘toilet training’) through the RIE Educaring lens, an approach that values connection over control and emphasises basic trust in your child. These are challenging concepts for carers to truly embed in what is likely an exhausting (also joyful and special!) time for your family. Please read on and continue your learning by reviewing the RIE resources at the end of this blog – it’s worth it! We are in process of immersing the RIE approach in all of our policies, procedures and the knowledge base of our amazing Educator team.

Toilet learning should be a natural process of learning that grows out of the child’s interest, desire for independence, self-respect, and gradually evolving neurological development.

For a child to be able to independently use the toilet there are three areas of readiness (categorised by Magda Gerber, founder of RIE):

PHYSICAL –

Children must have the capacity of the bladder to hold their urine or their bowel movements, and then release it when needed.

COGNITIVE –

Children need to be fully aware of what they are expected to do and how toileting works and have the ability to keep the status and condition of their bladder and bowels at the forefront of their mind.

EMOTIONAL –

Children are ready to use the toilet because they want to and are ready and willing to give up a comfortable situation such as relieving themselves whenever it happens naturally. There is also a sense of separation anxiety around toileting as children are letting go of something that they may believe is still a part of their body, and therefore valuable. This is especially evident when it comes to bowel movements. It can also be a real battle between progression (wanting to grow up) and regression (wanting to stay a ‘baby’) and both of these feelings should be accepted and validated without shame.

So, what does this readiness look like?

• Children have dry nappies for longer periods of time.
• Children can get on and off the toilet independently.
• Children are able to undress and dress themselves with little assistance.
• Children are able to leave play situations with ease in order to toilet.
• Children are beginning to identify when they are about to have/or are having a motion, eg. will say ‘I need a wee’ or ‘I’m doing a poo’
• Children are experiencing a period of emotional calm, eg. there are no other major emotional events in the child’s life such as the arrival of a new baby, moving house, transition into care, transitioning to a toddler bed, giving up a comforter like dummy or teddy etc.

It is important to note that most children do not have neuro-muscular control until between 28-36 months and that in most cases children are physiologically ready before they are emotionally ready. When children are ‘toilet-trained’ on an adult’s schedule as opposed to their own this can cause children to chronically hold their urine and faeces.

This creates all of the usual problems we hear about like frequent accidents, bed wetting, increased urination and urinary tract infections. When children learn to hold on to their urine and bowel motions, they create resistance in their bladder and can stretch their rectum leading to lifelong problems.

Here at Sustainable Play, our role as Educators is to provide a safe environment for toilet learning to happen, to advocate for the children in our care through active communication and to share information with families.

For further information please read an article written by RIE Associate Janet Lansbury 3 Reasons Kids Don’t Need Toilet Training (And What To Do Instead) – Janet Lansbury

Written by Rosie, RIE Leader

Read 3 Reasons Kids Don’t Need Toilet Training (And What To Do Instead) – Janet Lansbury by Janet Lansbury, RIE Associate, Magda Gerber mentee, parenting author and podcast host.

For addition reading or listening, check out Potty Learning – How and Why to Let Children Lead the Way, also by Janet Lansbury.